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Anonymous7 November Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't mean that I am still in the kitchen unless I'm helping out my parents. It also doesn't mean that my kids will also be in the kitchen unless they choose to be. I personally am not ashamed of it and whenever I go home, I would still help out in the kitchen to relieve my parents as they are getting old. I am also not a NT simpleton that says yes to everything but nor am I a materialistic person.

But yes I would like to find someone that has the same social rank and level of attractiveness as well as someone that is accepting of all classes of people. Takes me back to uni and I hate writing essays. If anything, I find that most Chinese women brought up here will subscribe to the idea of judging someone by their personality rather than their wallet and social standing.

I don't think BBC women would judge you based on your New Territory background, however their parents might. I find that parents are quite closed minded on where other BBCs are from and dare I say obsessed with pairing according to ranking. But those born here are less likely to be snobby in that way. Perhaps the attitude tend to come from those that repel with anything to do with Chinese? I have met these girls. They are often interested in finding men they feel they should be entitled to.

This kind of thinking usually comes out through being ashamed at their very own backgrounds. I don't know about others, we seem to be proud of our background. The so-called "lahn dut dut" a Hakka expression look is often a source of jokes when we see flip flop wearers with bed-hair and toothpick hanging from lips. In a strange way, it's who we are or should I say were. So don't forget to address him as Sir when you ask him how many cigars he has shoved up his recently. Isn't this the standard opening line that is said at these kind of Speed-dating events by cock-teasing females?

And wouldn't either of you go for a tall handsome Cantonese-speaking Eurasian 50k a year high earner if it really came down to it? Like Anonymous7 November And SF not to border on moronic BBC territory but more devils advocate with a bit of BBC moronic territory , if you had to choose between a unkept bed hair toothpicking Hakka FOB at a speed-dating event wearing flipflops,and say, a suited and booted Daniel Wu BBC male lookalike, which would you choose?

About the greasy kitchen, and this is a generalisation, it is not necessarily the place itself, but the lingering conversational culture and sad memories, parents from TA can't see things beyond the wok handle, thats all where the referencing comes from, it's their whole world view, it s either tragic or ignorant bliss.

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I agree there is nothing to be ashamed of, if you are aware of it. I always found those that dismiss and deny one's TA background and deliberately act as if they are privileged give off an insecure or fake personality. Having said that every now and then, am pleasantly fooled by some BBCs sharp dress sense and "refined" mannerisms, even more so when they actually reside in poor housing and of very a humble background, which makes me respect and warm to them all the more, and of their intelligence. There are some hakka mannerisms that are a big turn off, like those bhat-por intonations, oh those hakka women once they get going, they give it so loud, boy they know how to gossip.

My ex wasn't the most good looking person, he didn't speak Cantonese and he did earn less than me but I didn't ask him that and yes I did meet him at a speed dating event. I liked him in the speed dating event because of a common dislike of cricket and we made a joke on it because the previous guy was trying to convince me to like it in 20 secs that he had left. I only said yes to one other guy and I'm sure he didn't earn as much as me.

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I would have said yes to others but crossed them out again maybe because I was a bit embarrassed but one was a mixed. There's a saying which my mum told me but I completely forgot about handsome guys 'lang jai mo yea sum'? Also I'm not the most prettiest female out there so I wouldn't expect my guy to be the most handsome and truthfully I do prefer someone that has a compatible personality to me except for friends that I have put in the friend zone. In saying that, I still have my criteria.

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Who is Daniel Wu? Anonymous 8 November My parents are the complete opposite. They don't show it and they dress horribly! Even if they can afford better, Mum would still mend their clothes because they still work in a TA. Also the locals wouldn't know the difference. Wouldn't you want people to accept you for who you are? Some of the richest people still dress like they were before. They don't need LV bags to let them know how much they have.

I have not seen this Wu bloke so can't comment. But imagine he wears shoes and brushes his hair! It's more about someone able to stand on their own two feet and not being too imposing and controlling.

I can't tell you whether flip flop wearers with unkept hair can be a selling point or not. But realistically, good table manners and less shouting is a bonus, but would that make me a sell-out because it's termed as being more refined? It's not about money, but more about respect. Haha threads turning into speeddating interrogation Anonymous8 November In some respects, the 'refinement' of westernisation blots out the 'naturalness of Chinese rawness.

I think thats something that we Chinese have over the other East Asians. Just that in a 'white world' its not appreciated. Unfortunately at these events, its 'first impressions count' and selling yourself in 4 minutes you got to be a pretty slick salesman, IMO. Maybe David Tang would make a good Speed-dating candidate. So that cricket joke earned you both 11 years of partnership, funny 'lang jai mo yea sum' sorry my Cantonese is piss poor, what does that mean?

New Police Story, Protege,Overheard 2? Actually if anyone here can answer me that Id love to know because thats part of the dilemma of the BBC generation isnt it? Are we worth continuing or are we just a cultural irrelvance? You have a difficult personality as well? Have you been so mistreated in the past that you would choose respect over money? Was it a gweilo? With respect, tell me when Im crossing the line here, may have been a while back.

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Translation is something like 'Cute guys are players'. Yes he charmed me but it wasn't meant to be as we are not together. No I definitely have not heard of Daniel Wu and I'm not sure if I've ever seen him or remember him in movies. Don't know whether I'd choose him if he was in a speed dating event. Maybe as friends and nothing else because I'm sure he can get prettier girls.

That is an interesting question because if two BBC's marry then you do have that chance if they don't care either way. But some do care and they would make their kids go to Chinese school or learn to read and write if they have the chance. Personally I would make my kids do that. I'm missing on a lot, not knowing how to read and write.

I would love to read the Candor series. It's either make the kids go to Chinese school or move to China for a year or two. Ha ha, you are making me laugh. Put it this way, I've never really settled with anyone either Chinese or 'gweilo'. For that, my parents are really quite resigned now following attempts to pair me off with BBCs and FOBs in the past, but is that my stubborness or me being picky?

The sole reason I'm labelled as difficult. I may be picky at my food and maybe quite controlling on a lot of things in my life, but honestly speaking, I can speak my mind and that can be too much for some. My father says this of BBC women. In the end, too much freedom will be the undoing of women, and they don't know it yet.

They believe simplicity is what we need. The choice and the ability to earn will mean that by the time we finally lower our expectations, the men are no longer there.

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When that didn't happen, she has told her husband that she slept with his father, and had been duped into this deal. Positions could be abused and of course, FOBs may also have their shallow reasons too, and it's not always about love. I can't speak Cantonese properly myself. I can understand it, but my pronounciation is a little rusty, but I'm very proud I can speak Hakka fluently. I notice a lot of BBCs finding it hard speaking their native languages.

I imagine writing the characters will be even worse. Anonymous9 November But did your dad tell you that cute girls are flirters? Also just to ask, you mentioned that you came to this country, 'for the experience' and im assuming your parents, in running a takeaway speak Cantonese? So how is it you only speak English?

Ive never heard of a FOB that cannot speak Chinese, even if they are raised here. Agreed with you Chinese school and or both moving to China is important for raising children. Speaking at least one of the two dialects would give them a good advantage and yes relocating, providing youve got the means is a great way to escape this shithole, Ive made a lot of friends younger gen from the mainland, more BBCs I reckon should travel to China,not just HK, unless they want to get trapped in the 'we're fucked and we cant do anything about it' pass us the bubble-tea lets discuss electricity bills quagmire for rest of their lives.

SF So if you had attended Chinese speed-dating event, at the end of the night you wouldve grabbed the arm of the nearest Hakkgwei?

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Wonder if its the same the other way round? Does anyone here reckon its only women that are gold-diggers or is it just men as well? Also does anyone here in this culturally-sapped iphone-twiddling modern age believe that love exists anymore for modern couples? Maybe thats why these speed-dating events make so much money. It packages love as a commodity along with other things that money can so easily buy, right?

If BBc guys are surrounded from a whites only area, are they likely just to be paired up with white women, my take is no, one because of racism and 2nd white women generally don't found chinese guys sexy or date material. I meet white girls who say dating a chinese guy is a no no, there are exceptions, but what are your views BBc bloggers? Women are obviously less fussy. My parents don't speak Cantonese to me, we only speak dialect so I know dialect and can speak it but when I speak Cantonese to people, they get really confused as my sounds are not quite right.

I personally think that gold digging applies to both male and female, but you don't see many females earning more than males in the same age group so most often you'll see it's the female that's the gold digger. But not all females are gold diggers!!! I want to believe that love exists for modern couples. But it's hard for me at this moment in time as it has let me down. Romance has died in this era, though I still have hope it still exists in some people. The woman is white Irish and the guy is Malaysian Chinese. I have also seen white girls with oriental guys holding hands walking down the street in London so yes they do exist.

Look at Bruce Lee. I think the question should be asked that if you don't like all the ethnic Chinese girls dating white guys Do you hide in a hole or something and only come out at night when people normally sleep? I know loads of single Chinese girls that would love to find a partner that isn't a party guy but is interesting enough to have a conversation with. But where is the rock they've been hiding? Anyway I stopped using the TomFord cologne its been giving off the wrong balmy vibes lol.

As to SF " HAHA Playing snooker with gays? Keeps you busy then I guess. Thats new to me. For me, meeting other BBC guys was in a line of work that I used to do and no im not saying, if you want to know email me. No nothing dubious either before you start the jokes up. Other ways to at least get to know BBCs online are the pattern-knitting, i mean British Chinese forum online, which arranges regular meetups.

No idea what they are like never been to one but if its as interesting as what they yak talk about online, probably never will do. Happybritishchinese, I'm not following you with your first paragraph. Are you saying I prefer anything but an ethnic Chinese? I'm picky and over the years I've more or less accepted the fact that it's more to do with the fact that I'm not into committment and shy away from pressures like that. It's not something I think about anymore to be honest.

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It's only on the sugject here and the question of how BBCs live today that I started to discuss these issues. Doesn't mean all FOB wives are gold diggers. Furthermore, it might even be malicious gossip. As for FOB guys, it's strange, I notice it's less likely because by the time women have been brought up here, they tend to want a man with a similar background.

Could this be a cultural thing that men must not somehow end up inferior in a couple? I guess some prefer not to be so independent, and prefer stay and rely on their parents 4ever, guess i am not a typical BBc in that sense. In fact how did you know about this blog - did I send you a message on youtube?

Independent from young age, yeah different from most BBCs, I can respect that. SF Sorry didnt mean to be putting you on the spot, thanks for sharing your private life, its now officially part of the controversial issues affecting British Chinese community haha, just kidding re 'Could this be a cultural thing that men must not somehow end up inferior in a couple? I guess so, never thought about it. I think for Chinese couples living in the west, its about independence?

Whether anyone has seen a BBC male push the pram whilst the mum works thats something Ive yet to see. No doubt common for some. Happybritishchinese, the BBC women who end up with oriental men often find them through university. I know of a young BBC woman studying to be a doctor. She's not yet fully qualified but already about to get married with a fellow student from Malaysia. I have never seen any opting for an FOB man.

Is this a culture thing where men have to be of good social standing, whereas women can marry into a status? For that, I have to assume that BBC men and women think differently too. The women perhaps feel they need to be with someone more equal to them, whereas BBC men find it fine to marry someone possibly dependent on him and less equal to him. I know of a HK female overseas relative who studied and worked hard all her life, and is now the head mistress of a HK school; a respectful job and high status, and you know what the bhat-por gossip is?